Palette Cleanser

Welp. Here we are. The middle of June, the peak of our cheese making season, and I’ve been MIA. So many of you have sent gentle notes, checking in on our business and checking in on us.

Thank you for that, by the way. Those small gestures of support are an incredible testament to just what it means to be part of a community. And this community specifically, the one that circles this farm, is so dang special it’s sometimes overwhelming to process.

The long and short of it is. I needed a mental break from the current state of our world. What started as trying to keep my wits about me while constantly pivoting to run a profitable micro goat dairy in the midst of a pandemic morphed into something entirely different.

I hope it’s not news to you, but Matthew and I support permanent change that works towards ending systemic racism (that’s been a big buzz word lately, and if you want to know more about what it actually means I put a 4:23 minute video that breaks it down for you).

When the pandemic started I found myself a little confused about what to share. How do I talk about cheese when a deadly virus is sweeping over our world? And then, when George Floyd was murdered on camera, by a police officer and our world (yes, world) started protesting suddenly the happenings of our small farm seemed so meaningless.

Except this farm isn’t meaningless.

Matthew and I built this dairy from nothing, with no experience and almost no guidance from experts in a very public way through the power of social media. Most of you have been there for all the fails and missteps as we fought tooth and nail to eek out a living from a microdairy. A few of you have even been with me through my first marriage, the birth of Sis, my divorce, and, the best part, meeting Matthew.

Together that man and I have grown into a dairy that makes really beautiful, really clean food that feeds our community at a price point that isn’t completely unreachable. We’re actively healing the land, adding diversity back into our ecosystem and using only green energy to run our farm (much of it coming from the solar panels on our very own roof). We honor the life and death of every animal who comes through here and provide an educational haven for countless young kids through our field trips and camps (you know, when we can legally gather in groups). Additionally, through the magic of the internet, this farm has provided enthusiasm and encouragement for more than a few people, both in starting their own agricultural operations and managing their own divorces.

This farm is community.

But still I struggled with finding the joy in the goats doing silly things, taking the ponies into the mountains, or the kids living their best lives especially in juxtaposition to the harsh realities our country is managing right now. I know I’m not alone in saying that (I felt) enjoying these things seemed insensitive and tone deaf.

Except that’s a really dangerous way to look at your life.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times.

You cannot pour from an empty cup.

The kind of change our country is begging for isn’t going to happen overnight. The momentum we are riding right now is meaningful and powerful, but still, fighting for real, permanent change for our fellow Americans is an Ironman triathlon, not a sprint. And if we are going to continue to show up for this fight, we have to stay sane and motivated.

One of my favorite podcasts is My Favorite Murder. I’m not a true crime person AT ALL but, Georgia and Karen are two very strong, very well-spoken, and very passionate people that align with my own thoughts on a lot of different topics. Listening to their podcast is like listening to two friends. On top of that, I really appreciate how they honor the victim’s lives and never glorify the murderers. But, the reason I bring them up is because, at the end of every podcast, the women do a “palette cleanser.” The palette cleanser is just what it sounds like, a break from the realities of murder and sociopaths…a recognition of the fact that humans need a mental break from horror and sadness. Is it a privilege to acknowledge that our world is still beautiful enough to offer a palette cleanser? Absolutely. Does it make it wrong to want it? Nope, not even a little bit.

And so, Matthew and I have decided that our small scrappy farm can fill a much needed role as a palette cleanser for Facebook and Instagram right now. Will we still be working towards what we know to be the right path for history? You betcha. And, when it’s appropriate we’ll share. But, we’re also recommitting to creating the kind of posts that connect you, our community, to their food, the people who grow it, and the environment we’re all passionate about saving for future generations.

Thank you to those of you who were concerned. You were right. I was floundering a bit.

But we’re back, baby.

And you know what? I sure did miss you.